Following the Inspirations that Come
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Light-hearted? Tis the Season
The holidays are HERE! Are you ready for what this season brings? Maybe it’s just me but I know my expectations, preferences, and story book images of the season can surely get in the way of seeing the gifts that sit right before my eyes.
When I watch kiddos, they get this game. They are very light-hearted about the holidays. They are ready to roll when the lights come on. What can be learned from this observation?
My suggestion? Take a double dose of ‘taking things lightly.’ Pack your sense of humor and take it with you everywhere you go. The old adage, “Don’t leave home without it.”, is some of the best wisdom to remember during this holiday season. Another tip? Check your preferences at the door. Everybody has preferences (and they are rarely the same) but they needn’t be a reason to break connection. They may get met and they may not, but don’t wait on that to have a good time connecting with the ones that matter most to you in your life.
A heart full of love feels good, I know it and you know it. A mind full of unmet expectations and preferences feels icky. We all have a choice. What feels best to you. The good news is you get to pick.
I want to wish you the very best! I love knowing you and having you in my life.
Happy holidays,
Cherie
Nearsighted, Farsighted, Hindsighted: Giving Thanks
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Support for “Ick” Conversations
Maybe I’m the only one who has an adversity to conversations I’d rather not find myself in. I could have been in the circus or worked for the magician, Houdini, because I could find an escape route from these uncomfortable situations. Well, like most things in life, I couldn’t avoid them forever so I decided to see if I could grow a tolerance for them. As I launched this inquiry, over the years, I’ve noticed how my participation in these situations has evolved.
The old model:
1. Getting face-to-face or ear-to-ear
2. Looking at them, trying to be interested
3. Sitting on my hands so I wouldn’t bolt
4. Thinking I’m listening
5. Reacting or trying not to react to what they’re saying
6. Evaluating the Right or Wrong of what they’re saying
7. Justifying, explaining, or defending my part of the topic
The new model:
1. Getting face-to-face or ear-to-ear
2. Showing up as best I can in the moment with as clear a mind as I can muster
3. Knowing I’m equipped for anything that comes up in this conversation. No need to run.
4. Putting my attention on the speaker while my mind is whirling a sh—show of commentary.
5. Staying neutral. This is an active position for me because I see that I can’t hear what they’re trying to say when I’m falling into the story my mind is generating about what’s going down.
6. Listening for what they’re really trying to convey. Am I getting their point? Am I curious about what they’re saying?
7. Questioning them to see if I’m understanding what they are trying to communicate.
8. Still staying neutral. How can we collaborate to address what they are sharing?
9. Seeing the value of cultivating goodwill with this person. What can be created NEW from this conversation?
When I review how these conversations go down for me now, I can’t believe I could experience such a dramatic difference in conversations I had once avoided. What surprises me, equally, is the connection and goodwill that comes from listening in a new way. I see where old patterns can’t persist when I show up differently. Something NEW has to happen if I show up differently.
This is typically where I laugh…
What? It’s ME again! Really?
Yep!
Try doing difficult conversations differently. There’s no perfection, just showing up differently supports change, connection, and goodwill. Something, I believe, we all seek.
Please let me know if you give this a try, I’d love to hear from you!
Sending smiles,
Cherie
P.S. In these inquiries, I’m fascinated by the limitless Intelligence behind life that brings fresh ideas and solutions to each of us. What it brings, I’m grateful for. The fact that it is always here and in service to me, for living a more peaceful, loving life…amazes me.
Natural Inspiration
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Nature Moment
Learning Through Living: Insights from a Colonoscopy
Seeing something fresh and new is not special. Human beings are designed to receive insights, fresh thinking, aha moments, whatever you want to call them. It’s built into each of us and you don’t have to do anything special for it to happen. With that said, it’s possible to see life’s truths, simply by living. By doing what’s in front of you to do, in this moment. Recently, two insights about being human occurred to me and I wanted to share them with you.
It was my turn to have a colonoscopy. I’m a huge proponent of this procedure because it helped several people very near and dear to my heart catch diseases that would have otherwise gone undetected.
You hear lots of stories about the prep for this procedure. To prepare, I began reading all the instructions over and over because I didn’t want to miss any details. I knew for certain that I only wanted to do this dance once, so following the directions to the letter was imperative.
On the day before the procedure, I wasn’t allowed to have any solid foods, only clear liquids. For me this consisted of chicken broth and popsicles (no red or purple flavors allowed). What I found so interesting was, when I took food off my mind, such as, what I’m going to eat, getting the right food, and when to eat, I realized there was a huge open gap of space in my mind. It really surprised me how much ‘food thought’ fills my head daily! When that topic was taken off the table, WOW, my mind felt so spacious. Less on my mind felt great! Change is interesting.
The second part of the story, which I found so clever, was how my mind was trying to tempt me to break the fast! I bought a fruit bar as one of my popsicle options and when I went to eat it, I noticed it had chunks of pineapple. My mind is saying you’re hungry, eat it, it won’t matter, it’s not that chunky, etc.
The clarity in me said, no way! I’m not about to blow this process by eating something solid. With the vigilance of a D.C. lobbyist my mind wasn’t letting up. I was amazed how my mind was operating on its own agenda while the clarity in me didn’t budge. It saw the cost and said no way!
This mental tug-a-war brought a simple but significant insight. It showed me that as human beings, if we REALLY understood the cost to our experience or sense of wellbeing, we would not indulge our thinking. The clarity in us would stop us from languishing in events that have passed or made-up future events. If we found ourselves in the weeds of those two topics, we’d come back to the present moment.
What I know for sure is, I’m going to feel whatever I’m thinking about. If it scares me, I’m feeling scared. If I have thoughts of regret, I feel rotten.
Engaging with life brings insights. Since I’m a girl who likes bullets, I’m going to make it simple.
To me, this looks universally true for human beings:
1. If our minds are freed up from habits of thinking or anything else that consumes space in our heads, we have an invitation to see what else is on offer from life. When minds are less burdened, life feels lighter, more hopeful, more promising.
2. Understanding the TRUE cost of indulging our thinking, supports us in exercising free will. If we want to feel better more of the time, we can’t afford the mental indulgence. By indulging our thinking, we leave the present moment and live life through the story being created in the mind. If we’re playing it out in our heads, we’re not present to life. We’re not in touch with what’s alive, life, we’re in touch with our story.
This timeless video clip continues to bring me smiles every time I catch myself in my humanness!
I want to share my deep appreciation to all of you who commented on my last blog. It was wonderful to hear from you. Thank you for taking the time to say hello!
Sending smiles,
Cherie
On Offer? More Freedom
Happy 4th of July!
In the United States we celebrate the 4th of July as our declaration of independence from Great Britain beginning in 1776.
What does Independence Day mean to you?
For me, this date is an opportunity to look deeper into the Truth that I am free beyond measure. I’m free to do what I choose, to think what I choose, and to play with life as FREELY as I choose. For me I notice how my mind can suggest a limitation in such a convincing way that I look at it as if it were “sent down with the stone tablets.”
Oftentimes, when I wake up from this well camouflaged thought, I see that it’s only me making up how much freedom I will give myself. No Thing or No One is playing this game with me. It’s just me listening to the convincing thoughts from my very conditioned limited mind.
This Independence Day, I invite you to inquire into any limitations that appear to be true for you. There’s no need to answer or solve anything. Simply questioning the limitation sets the wheels of FREEDOM in motion for you. Freedom is your birthright. Test the limits you create for yourself.
Happy Freedom Day,
Cherie
PS. In my coaching work and workshops, living free of limitations and living with inspiration, in any circumstance of life, is where I work. If you’d like to explore the possibility of getting coaching support, please contact me and we’ll have a conversation.
“Pay It Forward”.
Where is Aliveness?
It’s fall! It was very exciting to step outside this morning and feel a hint of fall. With the change of weather it occurred to me how that seems to stimulate an awakeness to life. All of a sudden any feeling of stuckness goes to the back and aliveness comes to the fore front. Aliveness is a topic that fascinates me and seems to show up in the majority of my coaching client’s desires for seeking support.My curiosity about about aliveness brings me many insights. Why? Because I’m looking in the direction to see more. When we give our mind an assignment it seems to put in the coordinates, like GPS, and begins to serve up fresh information.
What has appeared true for me recently is that aliveness exists in engaging in life at the speed of life. Not living in my thinking about living, but about showing up in life and engaging with what’s next for me to do. It fascinates me on how our thinking can stall us from living. This may be common in most human beings but it’s not helpful.
My invitation to you is to engage, regardless of what seems to be stopping you. ENGAGE! Let it be simple. Let it be easy. The engaging will bring a new perspective, not what’s accomplished and acceptable to the mind. I promise. It’s in the engaging that aliveness and fresh perspective appears.
Squirrels-Living Discouragement Proof
On Saturday, I was sitting at my computer and something caught my eye. As I looked up, I saw my bird feeder swinging largely from left to right.
At first I thought someone had walked by and pushed it because it was swaying so big. As I looked closer, I saw a squirrel working its way up the trunk, getting in position to take another giant leap at the feeder. With the focus and precision of Evel Knievel, the squirrel poised itself and took the leap of faith, again. Still no success. But this isn’t the end of the story. With no hesitation the squirrel goes into action again.
As she maneuvered her path back up the tree, it occurred to me that there is one universally specific detail that separates squirrels from humans when living life. This is the notion of discouragement. They don’t have it, humans do.
Maybe you don’t have those moments of wondering, how life got to look this way, and how people aren’t supposed to be that way, and that was not supposed to go that way, yada yada ya.
It occurred to me that if I didn’t entertain what passed through my mind, in those moments of disbelief, much less ruminate on them, discouragement wouldn’t exist and neither would my suffering about how things appear!
In an instant, two things became clear. If I was less influenced by what charged through my mind in times of insecurity, I would have more fun, live with more inspiration, and try everything, without hesitation.
Consistently Buying a Train to Crazy Town
Where do you go when you’re not present in your life in real time? I don’t know about you but I find myself in Crazy Town. I named this place Crazy Town because I find myself there when I’m living from my thinking and not in the moment. Have you noticed how often you find your mind has taken you into another place or time? It’s like waking up from a dream! You were having the full experience of somewhere else, the past, the future, or an imaginary situation.I find myself there much more than I would like. It appears to me to be universally natural for human beings to not be living in their life, at the speed of life, but in their perception of life as they’re seeing it through their mind’s eye. We seem to be more familiar with the limited nature of life as it appears to us personally rather than the true limitless nature of life’s potential and possibilities.
This is what looks true for me:
I noticed how frequently I over think the most benign actions in life. Recently, I saw the gap between responding in the moment and when I think I should respond. I noticed this on something as simple as returning a phone call. Instead of picking up the phone to return a call, I’d find myself considering the best time to call, etc., etc., etc.! It exhausted me upon reflection. How much energy was I wasting with my habit of hesitation? Too much! Now I’m practicing responding in the moment, with less considering, and my life feels lighter. One simple step created a big impact.
- Leaving the moment and living from my thinking is universal to all human beings.
- We’re living from our thinking more than we’re responding to life as it’s happening in the moment.
- The stuff my mind makes up is very compelling but not always true about this moment in time.
- The stuff our minds make up appears to have the flavor, texture, and feeling of being real and true. How can something feel so spot-on and not be real?
- When I’m outside the moment and in my thinking, it’s like perusing Netflix. It can be a wild ride. There’s horror, adventure, romance, comedy, and drama. When I’m in the moment I just do the next thing there is to do. Whether it’s brushing my teeth, taking a step, or making a call.
Living life in real time brings a natural sense of lightness, ease, and hopefulness. Fortunately, I’m laughing at my humanness more and more. I’m noticing how often I’m not in the moment and how consistently I’m buying a ticket on the train to Crazy Town. And that’s OK.
About Cherie Ray, MLA
Cherie Ray is a coach and consultant on human potential to individuals and businesses. She teaches a clear understanding that brings incredible impact with less effort. Her work enables her clients to experience greater satisfaction, resilience, and success in both their private lives and their work. www.cherieray.com www.trueyoucreativity.com 832.545.8488
A Journey Into The Unknown
Recently, I had the opportunity to ask this question to a group of intuitive painters who were discussing their upcoming travel plans. One person was talking about visiting Egypt, another about her plans to see Japan, and another about her spring break in Portland. As the conversation unfolded, it occurred to me to ask, what excites you about travel? They looked at me with heads tilted and eyes squinted as if I were clueless. It was as if I had asked a question with the most obvious of answers. Here’s what they said: to see something they’ve never seen before, to have new experiences, to explore, to have more adventures, and to be surprised. From where I sat, all of these answers pointed to the same thing, a journey into the unknown.
As I listened to their answers it occurred to me how funny it is that our minds can hold the same idea in two distinctly different ways. When anticipating the unknown through travel, the departure date can’t get here soon enough. When anticipating the unknown through creating, we recoil as if there’s a reason to run. As B.B. King once sang, the thrill is gone! In both situations we’re still stepping into the unknown. Maybe what’s really on offer here, is to not take our state of mind as a barometer of what’s real. It’s a fickle-pickle that is inconsistent, fleeting, and illusory. It may carry the tone of an expert but that’s not a reason to take it seriously. Like the weather in Texas, it will soon change.
If you want to explore a different side to the unknown there’s no need to travel 6,000 miles. Those same goodies are waiting for you on the blank page. Creativity invites you into the adventure of seeing something new, exploring, having adventures, and being surprised. One of the best perks offered through creating is the opportunity to get very comfortable with stepping into the unknown. The unknown is never as scary as it once appeared. You transform your experience of the unknown into one of curiosity and wonder. Much like travel, the more you show up, the more is revealed and experienced.